Letter, 9 October 1870, Elizabeth Campbell Radford Adams (1847-1930) to James Risque Hutter (1841-1923)
Title
Letter, 9 October 1870, Elizabeth Campbell Radford Adams (1847-1930) to James Risque Hutter (1841-1923)
Description
Lizzie Radford writes to James Risque Hutter about their friendship and an apparent falling out. She states she thought they understood each other and tells Hutter that they are different from each other and how she chose his happiness over her own. Radford also addresses that she is not engaged and has been in poor health.
Elizabeth later married Richard Henry Adams (1841-1896) who became postmaster of Radford after the war. She was the daughter of Dr. John Blair Radford (1813-1872) who is the namesake of the City of Radford, Va.
Elizabeth later married Richard Henry Adams (1841-1896) who became postmaster of Radford after the war. She was the daughter of Dr. John Blair Radford (1813-1872) who is the namesake of the City of Radford, Va.
Source
Donated by Stannard Preston
Publisher
Historic Sandusky
Contributor
Transcribed by Emma Coffey
Rights
Permission to publish or reproduce required
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Language
en-US
Text
Arnheim Oct. 9th 1870
The sun is just setting and a glorious panorama of beauty is spread before me our beautiful landscape over seems lovelier than one with such inspiring to commence with you. I do not presume to love you with any efforts of mine (for they could only be efforts) in the way of a descriptions of what is beautiful in nature for I have no descriptive power & besides I know you to be one of notorious most ardent admirers but I wish you to know that such a scene can only call forth feelings of truth & purity & that while the information of the moment does not evince beautiful & glowing flights of the imagination it prompts me in simple and unaffected terms to justify myself before one whom I should be proud to call friend (and considered as such until your letter came) & from whose mind I should love to erase such bitter prejudices as sometimes sway it. I had thought we understood each other, but I should not have encouraged such a delusion for really I have never in my life been known or understood. I am ________but I am not fickle. If you know the history of my life as it really is you would not in thought word or deed blame me. That history I cannot divulge. It will go with me to my grave. Some ask if I had forgotten the day. I had not. I never will. There was no occasion for you speaking so bitterly of me, I have made no advances if I had then you might with more propriety have alluded to our past as something “that might have been what now can never be.” You wrote me that you desired always to be my friend but your last letter would certainly not be considered a friendly letter. You spoke of “broken vows” or “love grown cold.” Why allude to them? Why bring more sorrow on a heart already so sadly tired? But you cannot know or even imagine my feelings. I forgive you and only ask that you will think of me was humbly or cease to think of me at all. I say this in no anger but sorrow such sorrow as you have never felt. It was also unnecessary to apologize for not mentioning my loveable trails for I am well aware that I have none and feel lost and almost disgusted at an attempt made to convince one of the contrary, and now for my justification. Do you think it was wrong to break vows which made only and in unhappiness? We are so wildly different (and I feared uncongenial) You warm hearted, impulsive, and noble, I, a person of the deepest feelings but unable to disclose them born to suffer and enjoy silently. You instantly complained of my want of feeling and my coldness. It would have been so through life. We would never have understood each other. I found that out and did what I thought best for us both. But believe me, I thought most of you, your happiness. I know that in the future there awaits you a kind and loving bride. I fancy her as possessing all endearing charms & I pray that she may drive sorrow & bitterness from your heart and that your life may be one of peace and unallayed happiness. You have heard of my engagement, you say to whom? I haven’t really the most, remote idea who the person is. I very often hear little rumours of that kind but they generally die out very some for want of truth. I am not engaged nor have I any idea of being in that condition. This summer I have been in bad health and went to the springs to be cured but was not in the least benefitted by my stay there. I attended a good many balls and parties this season but would not get up any interest in the gaieties or the beaux. I suppose bad health was one cause. I am now in wretched health, am in a nervous condition that is sometimes very distressing but I am bearing it in silence and those around me know not of the sleepless and weary nights I spend, they can only tell of my sickness by my pale face. My family are anxious about me but I always try to quiet their fears. I am improving somewhat I think as to being engaged, it is something I don’t even think of. And now in conclusion let me tell you how warmly and truly I admire your character, I have ever regarded you as one of the noblest men I ever knew & you haven’t a friend who would most quickly defend you as assist you in every way that I could. Farewell, Lizzie Radford N. B.
I desire that you will not show this letter or speak of its contents to any one and please consign it to the flames, I cannot what he would think of me, I only wish to be justified in your sight, L.C.R.
The sun is just setting and a glorious panorama of beauty is spread before me our beautiful landscape over seems lovelier than one with such inspiring to commence with you. I do not presume to love you with any efforts of mine (for they could only be efforts) in the way of a descriptions of what is beautiful in nature for I have no descriptive power & besides I know you to be one of notorious most ardent admirers but I wish you to know that such a scene can only call forth feelings of truth & purity & that while the information of the moment does not evince beautiful & glowing flights of the imagination it prompts me in simple and unaffected terms to justify myself before one whom I should be proud to call friend (and considered as such until your letter came) & from whose mind I should love to erase such bitter prejudices as sometimes sway it. I had thought we understood each other, but I should not have encouraged such a delusion for really I have never in my life been known or understood. I am ________but I am not fickle. If you know the history of my life as it really is you would not in thought word or deed blame me. That history I cannot divulge. It will go with me to my grave. Some ask if I had forgotten the day. I had not. I never will. There was no occasion for you speaking so bitterly of me, I have made no advances if I had then you might with more propriety have alluded to our past as something “that might have been what now can never be.” You wrote me that you desired always to be my friend but your last letter would certainly not be considered a friendly letter. You spoke of “broken vows” or “love grown cold.” Why allude to them? Why bring more sorrow on a heart already so sadly tired? But you cannot know or even imagine my feelings. I forgive you and only ask that you will think of me was humbly or cease to think of me at all. I say this in no anger but sorrow such sorrow as you have never felt. It was also unnecessary to apologize for not mentioning my loveable trails for I am well aware that I have none and feel lost and almost disgusted at an attempt made to convince one of the contrary, and now for my justification. Do you think it was wrong to break vows which made only and in unhappiness? We are so wildly different (and I feared uncongenial) You warm hearted, impulsive, and noble, I, a person of the deepest feelings but unable to disclose them born to suffer and enjoy silently. You instantly complained of my want of feeling and my coldness. It would have been so through life. We would never have understood each other. I found that out and did what I thought best for us both. But believe me, I thought most of you, your happiness. I know that in the future there awaits you a kind and loving bride. I fancy her as possessing all endearing charms & I pray that she may drive sorrow & bitterness from your heart and that your life may be one of peace and unallayed happiness. You have heard of my engagement, you say to whom? I haven’t really the most, remote idea who the person is. I very often hear little rumours of that kind but they generally die out very some for want of truth. I am not engaged nor have I any idea of being in that condition. This summer I have been in bad health and went to the springs to be cured but was not in the least benefitted by my stay there. I attended a good many balls and parties this season but would not get up any interest in the gaieties or the beaux. I suppose bad health was one cause. I am now in wretched health, am in a nervous condition that is sometimes very distressing but I am bearing it in silence and those around me know not of the sleepless and weary nights I spend, they can only tell of my sickness by my pale face. My family are anxious about me but I always try to quiet their fears. I am improving somewhat I think as to being engaged, it is something I don’t even think of. And now in conclusion let me tell you how warmly and truly I admire your character, I have ever regarded you as one of the noblest men I ever knew & you haven’t a friend who would most quickly defend you as assist you in every way that I could. Farewell, Lizzie Radford N. B.
I desire that you will not show this letter or speak of its contents to any one and please consign it to the flames, I cannot what he would think of me, I only wish to be justified in your sight, L.C.R.
Collection
Citation
“Letter, 9 October 1870, Elizabeth Campbell Radford Adams (1847-1930) to James Risque Hutter (1841-1923),” Historic Sandusky Archives and Collections, accessed May 12, 2024, https://historicsanduskyarchives.omeka.net/items/show/119.